A baleful sickle bars the heart of sky,
Frost clouds disperse, the moon draws nigh.

He began to chew on that No. 23 blade, washing it down with cloyingly sweet ethylene glycol, and dozens of quetiapine pills.
His lips were already full of wounds and fresh blood.
He spat, a bloody swamp,
Carving Beethoven’s Moonlight upon his body.
Then, as if stroking a precious medal, he stroked them gently again and again, the life of blood created by the blade’s point.
Or using fingernails to pry open the wounds, then gently sucking the blood—be it little or much, creeping or staggering or gushing forth—again and again,
The flowing life.
Blood tastes sweet.
He looked forward to getting infected sooner, to welcoming a natural death in the ICU sooner.
Thus, innocent green flying insects were stuffed by him into the wounds of intermingled red, black, and yellow.
Agony.
Thus, he stuffed some dust and grit and water from the toilet very close to him inside as well.
Pain.
He firmly believed his behavior was in no way abnormal.
But he still felt sadness because of his lover’s mirrored action—cutting themselves.
The sweetness of the ethylene glycol gradually fermented in his oral cavity; the mouth gradually turned into a gigantic golden honey cave, cloyingly, sickeningly sweet.
He has the right to choose what he is. But also because of this right, he blames himself and desires to end his life.
He firmly believes in the true correctness of everything he has done to himself,
And is minimizing friction or any association with others as much as possible.

His self-affirmation comes from the ruins of self-negation, the termination of negation.
In order to survive, he must affirm himself, and he suddenly discovered that this affirmation brings such relief to a person,
Becoming the God of his own conviction to seek death.
Suicide is a matter of extreme beauty.
People do not fundamentally oppose suicide; rather, they praise martyrs sacrificed on the battlefield or those who sacrifice themselves for others,
What if the purpose of my suicide is also to help others?
This chaotic perspective can yield the conclusion that suicide is without sin.

2021.6.6 22:12 Compiled