I feel that I cannot even evaluate him properly. But it must be positive. That work is also not something I am qualified to evaluate.

Speaking of which, I have always felt that the recording of history is a matter of great importance; for me personally, personal history is even more so. Thus, this blog records myself, mainly many texts written during high school. Of all kinds: crazy, childish, sincere, dreamlike. I do not know what the purpose is of laying bare my inner thoughts like this; it is like shouting in an empty, blank room, yet hearing not even an echo. Actually, there are many, many more that haven’t been uploaded; the paper manuscripts from back then are likely long lost, but I basically took photos for archiving in the past. The photos have always been stored in Google Photos; I don’t know when I will have the time to dig them out and transcribe them.

Facts are important. True records need to be preserved. Therefore, when a certain person refused to admit to cheating back then, it was truly heartbreaking and left one speechless.

Thus, I naturally have reason to accuse future cheaters.

If you had admitted it then, I could have actually forgiven you; after all, that is already history. You do not admit it—will you forgive yourself? I truly find it hard to imagine how a person can so forsake the moral law within their heart. It is simply outrageous.

Just as Sinya wrote, I also believe that I “am a kind person.” But what is a pity is—perhaps it is the avoidant type? Perhaps it is those events from middle school? I am not quite sure if I am a person filled with love. Because back then, even she (my mom) had no love for me (at least I did not feel it at the time), so how could I dare to believe in the love of others?

Some things Sinya wrote, I have also partially verified through my own personal experiences; thus, I involuntarily developed trust in his other viewpoints.

Why exactly do I keep this blog? I just want to write something, that is all—to listen to the emptiness where not even an echo exists.

As for how you all will view me after seeing all these words of mine, seeing my thoughts—do I really need to care? If (the maintenance cost of a relationship) requires me to care, then (it makes me) not need to care (about that relationship).

Speaking of which, I seem to have read The World as Will and Representation many times during high school, but I have almost forgotten all the philosophical principles within it, so I can no longer quite understand the related theories mentioned in a few articles.

When I was young, I liked eating ham sausages very much, so recently I satisfy this childhood dream once every day, and it brings a great sense of happiness.

All that is of this world is not eternal; all that is eternal is not of this world.

All that is not of this world is eternal; all that is not eternal is of this world.

‘Your “forgetting” is physiological, your “guilt” is emotional, while her “indifference” is of the nature of truth.’ — I find it truly incredible that AI could predict this sentence. Just as “Spider-silk metes out the dust of a hundred years” is in no way inferior to the ancients.

In short, Sinya is a sincere person.

I also consider myself a sincere person. But this is far, far, far from enough.

Perhaps I need to write more things? Or does finishing writing make one feel even emptier?

2025/12/4