Jottings

The only true paradise is the paradise we have lost. All that is real is fraught with pain; all that is past is mingled with at least a sliver of bliss. Upon the boundless wilderness, existence itself becomes agony.

2024/6/13
Today, for the first time, I cried myself into a headache, cried until my face went numb, and my head is still throbbing right now.
From profound sorrow to immense joy, and back to profound sorrow.
Halfway through copying Xizhi’s Heart Sutra, I had the sudden urge to tear it to shreds.
Wanted even more to just hurl the pen away, yet I couldn’t bear to part with it.

What gives those deadwood parasites the right? What gives them the right? What gives those things the right? They don’t deserve it. They don’t deserve it. They don’t deserve it.
All those rotten, stubborn, foolish, self-righteous, backward, arrogant so-called leaders are utterly unworthy of the power they hold.
Nothing more than a bunch of pigs lifted into the sky by the favourable winds of the era. Feasting on the dividends of the times while ruining the next generation of the times.