World is Collapsing
The Greatest Sorrow ever eventually immersed me, after all the good news scientifically proven to be FALSE.
The single rhythm of my life, my personality, my methods, attitudes towards other lingered for the last four years and ten year, inevitably seems to be useless for THAT topic, even worse, useless for EVERYTHING.
The freezing air soaked in my thin coat, trembles my body.
Or that’s my fear, wrapped my body, my soul, and everything of mine.
My learnt silence finally got myself killed, after so many, whatever, shining or shaming years.
My dear book, nobody else I knew would accept my weakness, my failure, my short, with their unbias eyes, opened hearts or an embrace, telling me that nothing is scary, nothing is horrible and everything will be alright…YOU are my only shelf and shelter.
Alas, I realized that might be a scary scene for me as well, cuz I have NEVER experienced that so far, in my whole life.
The last time I hugged someone, that I almost forgot, shall be with CSW. I initiated it with a sudden reason that a hug is somehow beneficial and… Anyway, which happens more than a year ago.
My writing skills is so bad.
The Gemini family is really good at flattering or following human’s last direction, prompt or emotion, thay provide everything pros whiling excluding everything cons, which is clear as long as you shift your position to the one you are facing. That’s a really terrible scene and experience. At that point, they were literally manipulating my thoughts.
My world is collapsing, everything I owned, every relationship I got, is leaving me alone, pacing far away.
Time ticks away, leaving me behind…
Chewing the pain results in more painful thoughts…
I am even escaping from my language…
After my last hope extincted by gemini and deep researched materials, my coofidence surely dsestroyed.
I am feeling the greatest fear and loneliness ever.
Yesterday’s dating shall be a bad decision.
So devastating.
Life was just ruined, and I have no means to rescue it.
I was completely worn out of that and harvested exactly nothing, nothing, nothing nova.
…
The last time I cried out with sound was about three years ago, that was the biggest crying ever. After that, I never weep with any sound, just tears running and nose running.
25/10/2026 26:13